Kim Hudson: Be the parent you want to be — skip the guilt

Moms and dads, I want you to pay close attention to what I’m about to say – especially moms, because we are the worst at this.

I want you to take a deep breath, let it out and let go of all the guilt you are feeling as a parent.

This week has a tendency to pile on the guilt for many of us.

Social media is abuzz with first-day-of-school pictures and crafty ideas on Pinterest. Everywhere you go conversation is about back to school and how quickly the summer went by.

Maybe the summer didn’t fly by for you.

Maybe you couldn’t wait to get those kiddos back into school and out of your hair.

Or maybe this week feels lonely and sad for you and you miss the one you just took to college. Don’t feel bad or guilty – embrace your feelings.

Parenting is such a hard job, but many times we make it much harder on ourselves. We second-guess our decisions or compare ourselves to other parents. We think we are in the boat by ourselves and everyone else has it all figured out.

Whatever your thoughts, fears, guilt, feelings are … I guarantee you are not alone.

The guilt we carry with us only tends to weigh us down.  And parenting guilt is the worst.

Think about it: We carry guilt about so many things.

Your kindergartner is starting school and doesn’t know how to tie her shoes. You spent the summer being lazy and didn’t think about reading a book or practicing math facts.

You refused to buy the expensive book bag your child had to have and now all her friends have one. You enabled your child and now he is a college student struggling with responsibilities.

You haven’t volunteered for anything at your child’s school.

I am not an expert on this topic, but I think it is fair to say that carrying around guilt is not only bad for your health it will not make you a better parent. Wouldn’t it be great if we could just let it go?  Just do what you know is best for your child and your family.

What if we stopped comparing our parenting style to others? While we’re at it, what if we stopped judging others? Can you imagine?

Social media has put our parenting lives in the spotlight and made us way too knowledgeable of intimate details of others’ lives. As a result we compare, we judge, we feel guilty — probably more now than ever before.

So take this step with me … take a deep breath, let it out, and let it go.

Be the parent you want to be without the guilt, without judging or being judged. Your kids will thank you for it.

Contact Kim Hudson at tkhudson@comcast.net.

As your community newspaper, we are committed to making Salisbury a better place. You can help support our mission by making a voluntary contribution to the newspaper.

You are encouraged to leave relevant comments but engaging in personal attacks, threats, online bullying or commercial spam will not be allowed. All comments should remain within the bounds of fair play and civility. (You can disagree with others courteously, without being disagreeable.) Feel free to express yourself but keep an open mind toward finding value in what others say. To report abuse or spam, click the X in the upper right corner of the comment box.

Facebook Comment